The medicine does its appointed work on the gold, "then the fire eats it," and the goldsmith lifts the gold out with a pair of tongs, lets it cool, rubs it between his fingers, and if not satisfied puts it back again in fresh medicine. In it was the medicine made of salt, tamarind fruit and burnt brick dust, and imbedded in it was the gold. ("He shall sit as a refiner" the gold- or silversmith never leaves his crucible once it is on the fire.) In the red glow lay a common curved roof tile another tile covered it like a lid. He was sitting beside his little charcoal fire. “One day we took the children to see a goldsmith refine gold after the ancient manner of the East. So now I wonder, could you forgive me without feeling sorry for me? I certainly don’t deserve your pity. I have done wrong to myself as much as I did to you, and I don’t know if I can forgive myself. I’ve had hidden my feelings for you so deeply that I've learned to live with them, as if any other casualty. I didn't play my tricks on you in order to deceive you, but rather to save myself, and maybe even deceive myself as well. The more I care, the less I give away, and this is something for you to understand, and grant me your forgiveness. I don’t throw my intimacy in front of others, especially when I care.
![perfect face features perfect face features](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/31/ee/41/31ee412cc75988fa55cc66985e289f77.jpg)
I may let people in my own little world occasionally, but I would never let them be aware of it. I’d rather dig my own heart out, with a rotten spoon, than admitting it. Even if it was true that you knew me better than anyone, I’d never admit it.
![perfect face features perfect face features](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/cc/90/14/cc90146ad7ab15c26875c635310e4fdc.jpg)
I am more of an illusionist that a deceiver, but it all comes from being in fact, a very private person. You must forgive me because I know how it looks like, that everything we ever shared was a lie, and it wasn't… This is why, seeing you in my dream like that, came out as a shock. I've tricked you on purpose, yes, and you must realize it really has nothing to do with you. You also may be wondering how come you've never noticed before. I know it comes as a surprise, and you may be wondering why it took me so long to come clean. The only thing that has kept me in touch with reality was you…
![perfect face features perfect face features](https://theperfecthumanface.files.wordpress.com/2020/07/the-perfect-face-15.jpg)
Perhaps, all this life that I've known so far was in fact no more but a dream about living. It’s hard to distinguish if they were buried inside because dealing with them was such a dirty work, or if leaving them unnamed meant that it was not possible to define them precisely enough, so they would keep their true meaning. While I was looking into your eyes, I suddenly started to realize things about myself that were unspoken for years, like fragments of my inner life that were deeply repressed. For a moment you knew all my secrets, without me even having to tell them. Terrifying thing, you know? I can't say I've felt that sort of intimacy with anyone. It's a face I can totally relate to, as if it wasn't any more yours than it is mine. Even now, when I am fully awake, your face flashes before my eyes. It's been a while since I could remember any of my dreams, and still, this one has left me with such strong impression.